I ran it for a while, and loved it. Cinnamon is sleek and feels polished. The installation is really fast and not bloated with garbage software.

Everything generally works, and the interface feels familiar.

It is Ubuntu/Debian under the hood, so compatibility with most software is good. Bleeding edge drivers may run into issues, but most of them work with a little fiddling.

It’s worth a try. If nothing else toss it on a USB drive and give it a test drive.

Some browsers have built in fingerprint resistance techniques you can enable:

https://support.mozilla.org/en-US/kb/resist-fingerprinting

I wouldn’t entirely trust it, but enabling this feature in strict mode would tick a few of your listed boxes.